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And if you do want to explore bondage, take precautions.

Never get tied up in your own home by someone you don't know.

For us straight dudes, however, being big and hairy means getting thought of as an ape—big, dumb, smelly oafs.

While I can be dumb, smelly, and oafish at times (like anyone), I'd also like to have a way to describe myself that is masculine yet attractive.

We should also remember that no one is clairvoyant and that someone can hurt us without intending to.

But there's no intimate human connection, sexual or otherwise, that doesn't leave us open to hurting or being hurt.

It's not that they're closeted—most of them go on to have girlfriends, and that's when we stop—and they make it clear they don't want anything sexual to happen. And how do you know they aren't closing their eyes and imagining that you're a woman when you're spanking them?

Seeking Answers Concerning Kink One shows up, SACK.(Being a decent human being accounts for the other 110 percent*.) Because if you aren't showing up in kink spaces—online or IRL—your fellow kinksters won't be able to find or bind you. "The leather scene is a diverse place with tons of outlets and avenues, depending on how you navigate your life and learn," said Amp from Watts the Safeword (wattsthesafeword.com), a kink and sex-ed website and You Tube channel."When I was first getting started, I found a local leather contingent that held monthly bar nights and discussion groups that taught classes for kinksters at any level.So fuck this guy, HOPEFUL, on your own terms—but don't be too quick to dismiss the possibility of an LTR.Great sex and a good friendship make up a solid foundation.

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