See Also: Messaging like a sixth-grader texts; emoticons. ” is not an appropriate question to direct toward a stranger. I mostly date men, but my swing-both-ways pals have some horror stories.Neither are comments about a person being your sweet juicy fruit Nubian black queen. Don’t call anyone “ethnic” or “exotic.” The people who do are interested in finding someone they can introduce as “My Black Girlfriend Jean” rather than plain “Jean.” See also: Commentary on how much he loves women with your body type. What It Means: I spent my college years yelling “KISS! So for men who like girls who like girls: You like lesbians and bisexual women. But I’m pretty sure you aren’t messaging me just to let me know that you support basic civil rights (although you might be messaging me to let me know that you’re a homophobe).Online dating informs you from the get-go if your potential companion enjoys the musical stylings of John Mayer, thinks counts as a “book,” or voted for Ron Paul.People lie—despite the appearances of my tightly curated online profile, my typical Friday night is not actually spent out drinking whiskey, but rather downing a bottle of wine on my couch.Most days, I would scroll through them for a minute or two, then get quickly overwhelmed and click “close tab.” For every 20 or 30 messages I received, I responded to maybe one.
In fact, I will not make out with another girl just to impress a stranger on the internet; nor will I tell you about the last time I had sex just so you can jerk off while we Ok Cupid chat. “I’m a nice guy.”What It Means: I think that holding the door for you obligates you to spread. You are such an internet stereotype, and yet you don’t stop proclaiming your Nice Guyness.
The internet is a delivery system for any kind of pornography imaginable. A dater’s comment about how he is Such a Nice Guy is inevitably followed up by a lament about how women only like jerks—i.e., any guy who is not the Nice Guy. Because he sometimes does nice things for women, and they do not have sex with him in return. All of the user’s favorite authors, directors and musicians are white men, except that one rapper they like.
So he brings up his Niceness as a way to guilt women into sex. Then, he includes this information on his internet dating profile. What It Means: I am totally steeped in White Dude Culture. And if you’re a woman who dates men, recognize that a man who only cares about Dude Things may not care so much about your things at the end of the day.
Yes, women are socialized to believe that they need to look 18 forever and aging makes you ugly.
Yes, men are aware that women are socialized thusly, and may conclude that it’s a compliment to say, “Wow, you look so young!