Go inside the minds of men Harvey Hargrove, Jr., 41, a sales representative in Sacramento, California, knows the pushback that can come from relatives when we marry across race lines.When the former professional athlete announced his engagement to his college sweetheart, Trayce, a White woman, some of the ladies in his family did not hesitate to express their disappointment."It was hard for them," says Hargrove. When they found out I was getting married to a White woman, it was, "They're taking all our good men. ""Hargrove comes from a military family and says he grew up in diverse environments, including living in Germany for four years and moving to California when he was 15."Interracial relationships are all over the West Coast, so I could see a successful Black woman not be able to find that good Black man, in a sense.It's complicated Toya Lachon, 43, of Washington, D.
She and her best friend even stopped talking for a month over a disagreement about something Michael, a Republican, had posted on Facebook."[My friends] said, "Asia, you were so down for the cause." I'm like, "I'm not down for the cause anymore?
Lachon, who is seeing a White man, has experienced her share of adverse reaction."I've come across a lot of men who tell me I should be ashamed and say things like, "It's not too late to come home" or "He won't know what to do with all of that." I've heard it all. But the negative comments can be more distressing when they come from family or close friends.
Asia Diggs Meador, 33, had never considered marrying outside her race.
It didn't matter to me if she was Black or White."That's why he was surprised at the negative reaction he received from some loved ones, mainly those in North Carolina.
A long conversation with his mother helped him understand why some Black women in the family were hurt by his decision."When I was able to step back and put myself in their shoes, I could understand their perspective, even though I didn't agree," Hargrove says. Some of Hargrove's in-laws made it known that he wasn't welcome.