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His apartment might be messy and his resume might be all botched up. If you lie about having children or send them away to visit their aunt anytime your cub comes over, everybody will feel guilty.Your guy will feel guilty that your kids have to scram when he’s around, and you’ll feel guilty about hiding your pride and joy!It’s natural to reference your own history, experiences, victories etc.in conversation, but you have to watch it around a cub. Don’t completely stay quiet about what you’ve done!Not to shade my 30-year-old dude-brethren—no one age is inherently better or worse than another—but a much-younger guy (who is, of course, already an adult with a perspective of his own) can feel like a vacay from the particular difficulties of men who have had to come to terms with their new hairlines and old girlfriends. With seven or whatever years on him of finding your way in the world, you know an incredible amount that he doesn’t, and he probably likes that about you and wants to be close up to your experience and intelligence and difference.And maybe the best thing is who you get to be to him. (And, your advanced sex moves.) Here, it’s the same principle as anyone dating an older anyone, which is a tale as old as a twice-divorced bank executive, but when it’s a guy who is way younger, I just sexistly think that the confidence he has to have to go for that shifted paradigm is doubly attractive. Women who are fun, smart, stylish, and interesting are used to being heroine-worshipped by a certain kind of guy—also smart, maybe shy—but that becomes less of an acute experience around thirty-ish when many of those guys have been stung by life, and get less impress-able. So, as long as you’re in that green zone and having fun and not expecting (or wanting) shit you’re likely not going to get from him? Cougars are all the rage for men in their twenties through forties (although the latter are kidding themselves—they’re no young cubs).

Not being able to get what you want is, however, what an older friend of mine (yes, I once dated him) thinks about dating women his own age: they’ll want to get into a ring-house-car-kids scenario immediately.

Part of what attracts a young guy to an older woman is all her knowledge and experience about careers, travel, relationships and life in general.

When he asks you about your history, don’t be afraid to share.

My good friend who is also 30, was hooking up with a 24-year-old and is now in a relationship with him. Out of curiosity, I’d also like to know how old is too old?

As we’ve discussed before in Love, Kate, the agreed-upon metric for how-low-can-you-go is half your age plus seven, which puts you both in the green zone.

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